So after a bout with the stomach flu that has been passed around friends, neighbors, and co-workers a million times in just as many different forms, I am back to my blog. I think I got off easy, with only a quick two-day illness as opposed to some people who were knocked out for an entire week. It will be a miraculous day when we Minnesotans can finally open our windows and soak in some fresh air and let out all the icky recycled air we have been breathing since November.
So the other day, I was talking with some people about the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to fashion. The conversation turned to what is appropriate attire for women in their 30s. Not quite at the "mom jeans" stage but definitely past the "mini skirt" stage, what are women in their 30s supposed to wear? Both men and women were involved in the conversation, so it was interesting to hear the variety of items presented as unacceptable. It became apparent that women were most offended by too much skin, while men were put off by the notorious '80s vibe some women just can't let go of. I think they came up with some pretty profound things, and thus I present:
The Top 10 Things Women in Their 30s Shouldn't Wear:
1. Apple Bottom Jeans - No one should be wearing these, regardless of age.
2. Belly Shirts - Especially if you're going to go sans-bra ala Tara Reid
3. Boots with Fur - Cute on little girls, pathetic on 30-somethings
4. Glitter - Do I really need to elaborate on this one?
5. Japanese Symbol Tats - Okay, this one came from a guy who apparently doesn't understand that tats are permanent. Would he prefer ugly scar to the Japanese symbol for peace?
6. Anything Abercrombie - I can't even stand being near this store in a mall.
7. Skorts - 'Nuff said.
8. Scrunchies - The '80s called: they want your hairpiece back.
9. Visible Whale Tale - Okay when the hell did it become appropriate to show your undies to random strangers? Okay, okay, enough with the college hook-up jokes. But really...who wants to see the top of your thong sticking out of your pants? When did that become "sexy" and not "EW! I see your grundies!" STOP wearing your panties as jewelry people!
10. Words on Your Ass - aka the Juicy line of clothing. Or Victoria Secret's PINK line. Really? If you have to proclaim that your ass is "Juicy," then it most likely (a) isn't, or (b) needs a trip to the bathroom. Ish. I don't care how comfy these clothes are. There are plenty of other comfy pants out there that don't stretch a word across the crack of your ass. Find them and buy them now.
3 comments:
Glad you're feeling better!!
I love your list, but I feel that it is missing one egregious item: Crocs. For the love of God, people. Those are not to be worn in public!!!! Maybe on your kids. Maybe. But never, never, never should an adult be caught wearing rubber shoes, I don't care what they're called.
I couldn't agree more. They should be banned and a penalty should have to be paid for wearing them. Double penalty for socks with Crocs.
this is hilarious. i LOVE you'r blog. Already addicted! Someone twittered about it, that's how I got here.
Post a Comment