Linen & Cool Whip

You know what looks good on no one?  A beige linen pantsuit.  A woman at my gym has like 7 of them.  Some are sleeveless, some have cropped pants, some even have embroidery in the color of........beige.  Where does one buy this many different beige linen pantsuits?  I'm not asking for myself, really.  Unless I get caught in the middle of a beige forest and am being stalked by a clown...then I need some good camouflage. 

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Is there a rule, or maybe some setting on the vehicle, that prohibits minivans from going the speed limit?  It never fails...no matter who the driver is, they are always driving 10 miles under the speed limit.  Are they going slow because it's like sneaking around and maybe no one will notice them?  I can understand that.  I wouldn't want anyone to see me driving a minivan either.

I imagine minivan owners are the people who pronounce the word "especially" like "EXpecially."  Much like Buick drivers pronounce the "h" in words like "What" "Where" and "Cool Whip."

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The job is going okay.  The culture has been a bit of a shock and I'm having difficulty adjusting.  People there don't get my shoes.  And they dress like it's winter in 80 degree weather.  Who the fuck wears tights in weather like this?  I had one girl tell me she bought an entirely different wardrobe just for this place.  It's good to know that people have to change who they are to work there.

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Anyone else sick to shit of Taylor Swift looking shocked every time she wins an award?  She wins E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.  Wipe the look of shock & awe off your face, honey.  Trust me, the rest of us are sick of you winning, too.  

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Nothing will make you feel so old as to run an internship program.  Seeing all those fresh-faced, eager students walk in the door to start their "career" takes you waaaaaayyyyyyyyyy back to when you actually gave a shit what happened from 8am to 5pm Monday through Friday.  And knowing that my current place of employment sucks the life out of everyone who walks through their doors makes it all that much more difficult to slap a fake smile on my face and say, "WELCOME!" to all these eager little go-getters.

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In case you're wondering, yes...I am thinking about a career change.  For reals.